The Sparkle of Diamonds
by Laurenio567
Summary: Katie and James were together long enough for her to become pregnant. However, she carries and conceives their son without James' knowledge and decides to let Kendall and Lucy raise her baby. But with the next few years to wonder if she made the right decision, Katie discovers that she has some mistakes to fix. JATIE James/Katie Kendall/Lucy
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Katie's POV:

"We're not doing this again." I sighed and dropped my laundry basket on my bed. I set the phone down and put Kendall on speaker so I could work.

"Katie, I agreed to help you. Lucy and I did. But that doesn't mean I suddenly stopped pushing you to be responsible and do the right thing." Kendall still gave me lectures even though I was twenty-three. I was still his baby sister.

"I'm not trying to avoid responsibility-"

"Yes you are." He wasn't taking any of my crap today. "Look, Katie, I've respected your secret. Do you know how many times I've seen him hold his kid with him believing it's mine? Do you know how much that makes me hurt for him?"

"Of course I understand!" I cried, passion overtaking my usual composure. "That's exactly why I don't come to Christmas with you guys! It's hard enough seeing Nicholas grow up with you because I couldn't handle it, it's another thing to see James and know he and I can never have something together, and on top of all that I have to watch him play with his son and he has no idea it's his."

"Katie….wow. Do you hear yourself?" He took a deep breath. "You need to tell him. This is a mess."

"You knew it would be a mess. And you promised." I felt a familiar fear creep on me. Sometimes no matter how deeply Kendall made a promise, his overarching desire to do the right thing would win in the end. I trusted Kendall, for the most part. But he had tried this conversation multiple times since Nick's fifth birthday and I knew it was getting rough on him, keeping something this big from his best friend.

"I did promise, which is why I still will not tell him. I don't even hint. And he has no idea. But I want you to own up and do the right thing for James. Nick. Yourself."

"I'm not coming to Christmas. I'm coming the day after, just like we've done before. I only want to see you, Mom, Nicholas, and Lucy." I bit my lip, my hands pausing on a shirt I had worn my first day of senior year of high school. The shirt I had worn when I had kissed him. "Does he ask about me?" I asked the question quietly, before I could stop my curiosity from taking over.

"All the time." Kendall replied softly. "You know he hasn't seriously dated anyone since you." I scoffed and put a hand to my head. I had made a pretty mess of this. I knew that. And sometimes I wanted to just start it all over.

"I can't see him." I whispered.

"Katie, are you ok? Are you crying?"

"No." I lied. I sniffed and wiped my nose on my shirt. "Please don't expect me to come to Christmas with James."

"I won't expect you to. No one does. We just want you to."

"I have to go." I looked up and took some deep breaths. "I'm going to workout I think."

"Katie, don't overdo it."

"I'm fine!" I snapped. "I'll see you at dinner tomorrow."

"Lucy is making stir fry."

"Sounds good."

"See you then." He hung up. I let out a shaky sob before composing myself. I fell down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I had every right not to want to see James. I had only seen him twice in the past five years and both times were not planned. He was the father of my son. Every time I looked at Nicholas I saw James. I saw him enough.

I had had feelings for James since middle school, watching him chase models and popstars, watching him rise to fame, watching him mature. He had always seemed so out of my league. He was older, gorgeous, perfect. He was my brother. But he wasn't. And I started to realize that. Before the band split up, before he moved out, something came over me. I saw a chance and I took it. I kissed him. And that was the beginning to the best few months of my life. We started dating, that beautiful boy and me. He had eyes only for me, even though I was a nobody, a gangly little thing that didn't know how to express her feelings. I was eighteen and completely in love with James Diamond. I taught him to take what the world had to offer and he taught me how to care only about what really mattered. Kendall was suspicious at first, the protective big brother in him telling him that James only wanted to get in my pants. And he definitely did that too. But James had matured. And eventually Kendall decided that James was a good fit for me.

It was at the end of my senior year of high school that things just fell apart. James got accepted to University of Southern California and I got accepted to Berkeley. We knew that long distance was something that didn't seem too daunting. I also knew that I could turn Berkeley down and go somewhere closer to James. And then Nicholas decided it for me. The day after I graduated I went to the doctor due to feeling sick often. And I discovered I was pregnant. I made the decision without a second opinion. I would have the baby. But I wouldn't tell James. It would completely ruin his future, the plans he had worked so hard on since his music career had stalled them. I had a quick summer of goodbyes, hiding my situation, and a lot of crying in my room. Saying goodbye to James was the hardest. I drove him to his new apartment and when we hugged, when he held me, I knew our child was between us. And he had no idea.

As soon as I was back in LA with Kendall, I told him. Needless to say, he was shocked when I broke the news I was four months pregnant. Surprisingly, Lucy wasn't.

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Flashback:

 _"Let me get this straight," Kendall paced the room, anger clear on his face, "you are moving six hours away from James, pregnant with his kid, and you didn't tell him?" he bellowed. I flinched and Lucy took my hand sympathetically._

 _"Six hours and eleven minutes, technically." I mumbled. Wrong thing to say._

 _"Are you an idiot? You're an adult! You need to tell him, and rise to the occasion! Not to mention I'm going to kill him for not using protection!"_

 _"Kendall, stop. She's hurting." Lucy tried to calm her husband down._

 _"She should be! Do you realize what she's done? She thinks she can raise this kid on her own! She was planning on never telling him! That's the most indecent, cruel thing I think she's ever done!"_

 _"I'm not going to abort it! I have no other choice!" I defended myself._

 _"Yes you do." Kendall ground out, his voice dark and low. Lucy looked up, sensing his heavy heart. "You're going to have the kid. And Lucy and I will raise it."_

 _"What?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Lucy looked to Kendall, questions in her eyes._

 _"Kendall, are we really ready to-"_

 _"Yes." He took Lucy's hand and led her over away from me. "Luce, we can't let her raise that kid. She's not ready. We're married, have a place, we can afford to raise it. Do I want to? No. Do I like the situation? No. But, what do you think? Can you commit to doing this with me?"_

 _"Yes." She agreed quietly. "Though this changes a lot of the plans we had."_

 _"We did plan to have kids relatively soon." Kendall added softly._

 _"Not your sister's kid."_

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And it played out like that. I went to Berkeley, lived in an apartment with a few friends, did online classes for my last trimester. When I had Nicholas (the most precious day of my life), Kendall and Lucy took him home as theirs. When anyone asked, they said they had adopted. No one had seen me grow fat with a kid, considering I was hiding away. When I would come back to LA to visit, I looked like my usual self. I would see Nicholas around eight times a year. It hurt to know that he was mine, ours, and I was missing his first steps, his first tooth. But I knew it was for the best. Kendall and Lucy ended up adoring him, but they let me pick his name. Nicholas, because James said it was his favorite name for a boy. Nicholas James Diamond. A strong name. For a strong boy. Lucy often tells me that Nicholas was a blessing in disguise. She didn't think she'd like being a mother, but that she and Kendall have never been happier. Glad at least some people are happy.

Once I got to Berkeley I told James that a long distance relationship wouldn't work for me. That we both needed to live our own lives. That I didn't want to hold him back. And then I did the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I told him I couldn't love him anymore. And I told him to find someone else that did a better job of it. And I ended contact.

I saw him two times after Nicholas was born. The first was when Kendall invited me over on a long weekend to hang with him and Nick. I walked into his apartment and heard James' voice before anything else. I spied around the corner in the living room for a few minutes and watched James play with Nick. And then I turned around and sobbed the whole way back to Berkeley.

The other time James actually appeared at Berkeley. I was coming out of a class with some friends on the second floor and as I looked over the balcony into the lobby I saw him talking with a few guys from the masters program. And he saw me. I saw his eyes widen for a few moments and I turned away quickly. When I looked back, he was walking out, not even a glance behind him. I still don't know why he was even there.

And that brings us back to the present. Kendall was on my case about coming to family Christmas at his place with all the guys and Mom. And just like every other year, I was saying no. I hopped off my bed and grabbed my sports bra. It was time to hit the gym. Thank goodness it was a Saturday. I didn't have time to deal with Kendall when I was at work. Not at my own talent agency, yet, but being a scout was a good deal for now.

00000000000000000000000000000000

Kendall's POV:

"She is the most stubborn person I know." I threw my phone on the couch in frustration.

"She didn't want to come." Lucy guessed, coming into the living room while drying a plate. Nick came running in after her.

"She used to be so unpredictable and we'd complain about that. Now she's too predictable. She just says no to everything. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I handled the unpredictability better."

"I know." Lucy frowned in sympathy. "But at least she's talking to you. And she still sends a check every month even though you told her she didn't have to."

"She cares." I agreed.

"Daddy, let me show you what I made in school today!" Nick was pulling on my jeans. Lucy smiled fondly. I knelt down to Nick's level.

"What did you make, pal?" I looked at the paper he was holding.

"A snowman!" Nick handed the floppy, white stack of circles to me. I chuckled. "See the nose?" he pointed proudly to the carrot he had drawn.

"Very good." I ruffled his hair. "We'll need to hang this up, since it is December."

"Christmas!" Nick shouted, knowing that the December meant presents.

"Yep." I stood up and went looking for the tape.

"Did Katie say she was still coming for dinner tomorrow?" Lucy called.

"Yeah, she said she was still coming." I returned with a piece of tape and hung the snowman on the window so you could see it from the street, just like Mom used to do with us.

"Cats can see him!" Nick clapped. "Perfect!"

"It is perfect." Lucy wrapped her arms around me and smiled. "Kendall, I don't think you realize what a great guy you are."

"What do you mean?" we watched as Nick went running to his room.

"You sacrificed for your sister and are still sacrificing for her, and now her child."

"It still doesn't feel right to call him ours, does it?" I caught her words.

"Not completely." She agreed. "But I would raise him for my whole life if she asked us to."

"So would I." I smiled fondly down at her. "Quick, give me a kiss." I pulled her in and enjoyed a deep kiss with the only girl to ever question my musical ability. She pulled back and gave me a look. "What?"

"I'm pregnant."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Katie's POV:

"This is really good." I complimented Lucy's cooking skill as we enjoyed a meal together in their apartment. I had driven down to spend the evening with them and then go to Mom's house for the next day.

"She's gotten a lot better since we first got married." Kendall snickered, earning him a playful slap from Lucy.

"He's probably right." She added bashfully. "I had never had anyone to cook for before him."

"I'm a horrible cook." I consoled her. "Corn dogs are about the extent of my culinary arts."

"Hey, that's just how you grew up." She shrugged.

"I like corndogs!" Nick piped up. I looked over at my son and chuckled. I picked up a napkin and wiped his face for him.

"Uncle Carlos would be very proud."

"He'll be at Christmas." Nick announced, proud to know something.

"Lucy, aren't you hungry?" I wondered. "You haven't eaten anything."

"Oh, I had a big lunch." She smiled and sipped some water. "Just the thought of more food…." She shook her head. I nodded. She was pregnant. I could tell. Once you're pregnant once, you can see the signs like they're a billboard. And to think that she's trying to cover it up. I'm Katie Knight, I know all. And considering Kendall wasn't freaking out, he must have known for at least a few hours.

"Auntie Katie!" Nick cried, "Have you seen my snowman?"

"Um…I don't think so." I looked around.

"Let me show you!" he took my hand and we went to the living room window together. I listened to him tell me about the crafts they did in kindergarten and how much he loved his desk and what the playground was like. So this is what it was like to be a parent. I was missing out. No the first time I had thought that, but it still hurt.

"Ok, I gotta go now!" I heard Kendall call to me. He had told me he was going out for drinks with a friend and he would only be here for dinner.

"Let's say goodbye to daddy." I suggested to Nick and ran to the doorway together. We both took turns hugging Kendall goodbye.

"I'll see you in a few weeks." He kissed my head. "Tell Mom hi for me." He shut the door behind him. Lucy and I did the dishes and then played with Nick until he decided to go to his room for his legos. As soon as he was out of earshot I turned to Lucy and looked her in the eyes.

"You're pregnant."

"How did you-"

"Been there, done that. You couldn't hide it for a second. I know what it feels like to not want to eat." I crossed my arms and looked smugly at her. "I want the details."

"I'm a month along. I just told Kendall yesterday."

"How did he take it?" I was curious.

"He was in shock for a few minutes but after he recovered he was over the moon happy. We'd been trying for a while. We were scared we wouldn't have any of our own."

"I'm so happy for you guys." I beamed. "But you need to take it easy. Don't be afraid to let other people do some work for you."

"Yeah, um I seem to remember you telling all of us to 'fuck off' when we offered to help you when you were pregnant." She started laughing. I blushed. Oops.

"Maybe I don't like to take my own advice." I giggled.

"Ya think?" she grabbed a movie and we watched it until around eight o'clock. "I feel vile." She sat up, pausing the scene.

"You gonna throw up?" I wondered, not quite sure how to help.

"No, but I do need some medicine. Something for nausea." She looked around like it might fall from the sky for her.

"In your cabinets?" I suggested, heading to her bathroom.

"No, I just ran out. I need to go get some. I thought I could go a night without it, but I rethinking that decision."

"I'll go." I offered and grabbed my purse.

"No no." she stood up and grabbed hers. "I want to go. Can you stay here with Nick?"

"Well, yeah, of course. But are you sure you shouldn't lie down and let me get the medicine?"

"Shut up, Katie." She pushed me playfully. "You can let him stay up as long as he's good. He doesn't like it when I'm away."

"Ok. Be safe." I watched her go.

"Mommy?" Nick appeared in his doorway. I turned around.

"She went to the store. She'll be right back."

"But now who is here?" he whined.

"What? Don't I count?" I waved my hands. "I'm your aunt and I'm fun."

"Oh yeah!" he suddenly remembered that I was a human too. "Let's play!"

"What do you wanna play?" I asked.

"Dress up!" he cried, running for Kendall and Lucy's room.

"What do you dress up as?" I followed him, turning on lights as I went.

"A doctor!" he pulled down Kendall's big, white overcoat and I helped him put it on. It did look slightly like a lab coat of sorts.

"You too!" he tugged on my hand.

"What should I be?" I wondered, pretending to look at Lucy's dresses.

"A princess!" he decided. He pointed to a purple and black dress.

"I don't know. Do I put it on?" I asked, reluctant to wear someone else's clothes without permission. Though she was family and Lucy didn't care.

"Yes." Nick nodded and began to strut around the room. I went into the bathroom and put the dress on. It was fitted purple velvet to the mid thigh. Then black lace started around the hips and covered the breasts until it ended as a strapless dress. Princess? I wasn't so sure.

"Is this what princesses wear?" I asked Nick as I exited the bathroom.

"I don't know. But Mary Allen in my class says Princesses need dresses so I think you're good."

"Ok then." I smiled. "We need music." I pulled out my phone and started playing some Taylor Swift songs. I took his hands and we began to dance around the room and then the house. We struck poses and twirled. I grabbed up kitchen utensils to sing into and I let him jump off the couch into my arms a few times. I was really starting to feel it.

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James' POV:

Kendall and I went out for drinks every two weeks. We kept up to date on each other's lives and made some plans for Christmas. Sometimes I came back to his place and we watched a movie with the family or played a game. However, as we walked up to his door, things were different. Light was streaming out of the windows and I could distinctly hear Taylor Swift singing in the background.

"I wonder what Lucy's up to." Kendall chuckled and opened the door. What we saw was not Lucy. Not in the slightest. Nick and a petite girl were on the coffee table, singing into kitchen spoons. Nick was wearing Kendall's long coat and the girl was dressed, well to be honest she was sexy. They were holding hands and singing nonsense, giving a fake concert. I looked at Kendall and his face was ashen. And then I understood why.

"Thank you!" Katie cried and turned around. "Thank you very…." She stopped cold when she saw us standing in the foyer. Nick turned around.

"Uncle James!" he cried and ran for a hug. I barely registered his touch, my eyes still glued to Katie. She hadn't changed at all. Her hair was still the perfect amount of curly, eyes deep and sweet, like a chocolate fountain. And in that dress….what was happening. Was this a dream?

"What are you doing in Lucy's dress?" Kendall started laughing hysterically.

"We're playing dress up." Nick stated happily. "Aunt Katie likes to sing. She's playing a princess. Doesn't she look like a princess Uncle James?" Katie's eyes darted to me, fear written plainly on her face.

"Yes." I choked out, still not sure if what I was seeing was real. I hadn't even known that she had met Nick. Much less was so close with him. Had she been down before? Then she suddenly seemed to hit a play button in her head. She began to move again.

"Sorry about the dress, Kendall, though I don't think she'll mind." Katie stepped off the table and went into the kitchen, carrying the spoons with her. "Lucy needed to run to the store so I was watching Nick for a while longer. I know you weren't expecting me."

"No it's fine." Kendall was still giggling to himself.

"I'll just go change, and now that you're home, I'll head out. Mom's waiting for me." She ducked from the kitchen to the bathroom and closed the door promptly.

"Dude." I turned to Kendall. He busted out laughing again. "Why didn't you tell me she was here?"

"I didn't know! I swear." He laughed. "You have to admit that was hilarious. She had no idea we were there."

"I had no idea she was here at all." I looked at him in confusion. "Does she visit you often?"

"I mean…" Kendall trailed off, not meeting my gaze.

"She does. And you never told me?"

"She…"

"She what?" I challenged.

"She asked me not to." He finished. Ouch. That hurt.

"And let me guess. That's why she's never at Christmas. Nice excuses you make for her though."

"Look, James, I'm just the middle guy here. I just try to do what I think is best at the moment."

"She was my-" He was cut off by the bathroom door opening and Katie coming out in her normal clothes, purse in hand.

"Ok, well I'm headed out. Lucy should be home soon." She made her way to the door.

"Say hi to Mom for me." Kendall hugged her.

"Aunt Katie!" Nick ran to her and hugged her. I watched as she kissed his head and held him close to her. "Will you please come to Christmas with Uncle Logan? And Uncle Carlos? And Uncle James?" She looked up at me for a split second, then back down at Nick.

"I'm usually busy that day…." Katie began.

"Please?" Nick begged.

"I'll come." She said quickly. Nick hugged her again in excitement. This time she seemed stiffer. "Be good until I see you next." She ran a hand through his hair and walked out the door.

"There, now she'll be at Christmas." Kendall turned to me.

"That doesn't change anything." I growled. "You had no right to keep me from her. She had no right to lie. Although she has gotten pretty good at that these past few years."

"James, easy. We've told you, she has a lot going on."

"And I just suppose she'll have a lot going on for the rest of her life, huh?" I bit my lip to keep from shouting and scaring Nicholas who was watching our conversation with rapt attention.

"Hey guys." Lucy stepped into the house. "I just saw Katie pull-" she stopped when she saw James. "What are you doing here?"

"Not seeing Katie for the past five years, but you already knew that." I pointed accusingly at her.

"Why did you bring him home when she was here?" Lucy turned to Kendall.

"I didn't think she would be! She's usually gone by this time."

"I'm glad she was here! She should feel awkward for hiding from me all this time!" I hissed.

"Why is Aunt Katie hiding?" Nick wondered. "Is she playing a game?"

"Yes she is." I growled. "A dangerous one."

"Why were you out anyway?" Kendall asked Lucy. "Why didn't you tell me you left Nick with Katie?"

"I'm sorry, ok? I had stuff to get at the store." She defended herself.

"Mommy was feeling sick." Nick spoke up. Lucy's eyes widened.

"Why? Are you ok?" James' voice softened slightly.

"She's fine, she's good. Just a little cold." Kendall spoke up quickly.

"Aunt Katie said she felt sick too." Nick added. Lucy put a hand over her mouth and then scooped Nick up.

"Time for bed." She laughed and swept him out of the room.

"Katie didn't look sick." James frowned.

"She's not. And neither is Lucy. Everyone is fine." Kendall confirmed.

"Then what was that all about?" James referred to what Nicholas had said.

"Kids. They talk." Kendall waved it away. "So I'll see you at Christmas then?"

"Don't even think we're near done talking about all this." James glared. "I'm going home. And then I'm going to bed. For a long time. And when I wake up, if this wasn't a dream, I'm calling you and we're meeting up."

"Maybe you should call Katie." Kendall suggested.

"Two years of my life were dedicated to calling Katie. I'm done with that chapter."

"You'll see her at Christmas. You'll have to act cordial."

"I can act normal, she's the one who won't look at me. Like I did something to her."

"You did something." Kendall muttered, his old frustration kicking in.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing. Call me if you want to talk."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Kendall's POV:

James was really shaken up after seeing Katie the day before. We had gone out for a drink and he had barely said a word. He looked….lost.

"Dude, could you please talk? You're freaking me out." I couldn't take it anymore.

"What do you expect me to say? Huh?" he downed a shot and motioned for another.

"Well, you're kind of drinking yourself into a stupor on account of my little sister. We could address that." I offered, surprised to see him looking so discomposed. He always had it together it was a strange contrast.

"I'm just trying to process. The last time I saw her was two years ago at Berkeley and she looked at me like I was the Walking Dead." He downed shot number three and reached for four. "I just wasn't expecting her. Especially the way she was with Nick…"

"What way?" I tried not to sound guilty, but it was hard. I wanted to grab his shirt and yell, "Of course she acted that way! That's your kid! She's Nick's mother!" But I just sat there trying to look clueless.

"Like she was his best friend or something. I didn't know she even visited you guys. Was she there when you adopted him?"

"Pretty soon after." I lied. He was asking too much. He was getting too close.

"I mean, the way she dumped everything and left. I didn't think she was capable of loving a kid. She had been so cold to me for so long I just assumed that she was that way with everyone. I guess it was just me." He reached for his fifth, this one of gin. "She always said I was special to her." His voice was dripping in sarcasm. He was bitter.

"I think you're just jealous that someone else has a connection like yours with Nick." I shifted the topic a bit.

"Well can you blame me? Sometimes it feels like that kid gets me better than any of you guys. He's what is making me think I could be a father one day." James sighed in defeat. "Unfortunately you need two people for that."

"Come on, you know I'm not a fan of telling you to move on from Katie, but if that's what you need to do…"

"I still haven't slept with anyone since her." James admitted before taking shot number six. I looked at him in shock.

"But you…I mean you always-"

"I know. I always got what I wanted before her. Before I realized that that little sister of yours wasn't my sister. That she was beautiful and funny and persuasive and had me wrapped around her little fingers since day one. Once I had her, there was no one else." He put his head in his hands and let his hair run through his fingers.

"Once she has you, you're trapped." I agreed. "We all experience that in different ways. Yours might be the hardest though."

"Dude, I know you're her brother and you don't want to hear this, but I'm getting drunk and you can beat me up later. But I think I knew that night in the movie theater arcade, when she thanked me for being so protective of her, even when she was that young. Some voice in the back of my head told me that I would have her. That if I wasn't her first, I'd die. And when she kissed me, and then she ran. Like she was scared I wouldn't want her? She was the one that was going places! She was going to be someone! And I just wanted to be along for the ride! And you know what? I held true to that voice in my head. I was her first. And when I took her virginity, I knew that there would be no one else for me ever again. I was completely, totally, and wholly in love with Katie Knight." He took another shot quickly and gasped for breath. "I was committed! She was going to be my wife! Have my kids! I loved her because I knew she wouldn't want me for a few months then leave like all the shallow girls I filled that hole in my heart with for so long. But then she did leave! I made a promise to her when I slept with her. Call me old fashioned, but even though she didn't take her innocence seriously, I did." He stood up and pushed his bar stool back to the counter, causing a few people to stare. He stalked out of the bar and I threw the money on the counter and followed him. He was waiting outside, wind blowing his hair, sun in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could think to say to him. He faced me.

"I felt so guilty, Kendall, the things I thought about her when I couldn't have her. She was our sister! But I dreamed for years about-"

"Ok, I get it." I was feeling slightly sick to hear all his sexual fantasies.

"And when we were finally together, I felt so guilty for taking her. But she kept begging me to not think of her as a little girl."

"Why were you so careful with her? It's not like she didn't know what she wanted." I shrugged. Katie was tough.

"I didn't want her to be like all those girls I had used. She had waited for me. But I hadn't waited for her. I felt like I was using her, like I was making her worth less by being with her. But she loved me and I was in love and I let her sway me. And it was the best feeling of my life."

"She's not as innocent as we all thought." I admitted.

"I learned that soon enough." He chuckled. "She asked for some pretty crazy stuff and-"

"Again," I stopped him, "I get it."

"Sorry." He was sweating slightly and I could tell he was tipsy. Katie could have that effect on anyone and then add the alcohol on top…he needed to calm down. "I just never thought that I'd be the one getting iced out."

"She's got a heart of stone." I sighed. We made our way back to the car, his steps slightly unsure. I stopped him before he got in, though. "But one thing I always have to remind myself: everything Katie does is driven by her intense desire to do well by those she loves."

"I guess she doesn't count me on that list then." He started to climb in.

"Or," I stopped him again, "she loves you most of everyone."

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Katie's POV:

"Thanks so much for helping me last night with Nick." Lucy thanked me again. I had stopped back by the house to say goodbye to Nick one more time before I drove back to Berkeley.

"No problem." I nodded and started trying to forget the night before all over again.

"I had a proposition." Lucy began. I sighed and raised my eyebrows. She looked at me.

"What?"

"I know how to get people to do what I want. Don't beat around the bush. What do you want?" I crossed my arms. She flopped down on the couch and Nick ran to sit on my lap before I could get up to go. He settled in and I held him close.

"Whoa." She froze.

"What?" she scared me. It's like she saw death or something.

"Nothing…it's just the resemblance…" she shook her head. "Can I take a picture?" she pleaded. I nodded quietly. She pulled out her phone and snapped a quick picture of us. "Just in the moment, with the sun like that, he looked just like you."

"Hear that, Aunt Katie?" Nick laughed. "You're like my sister!"

"Close." I thought.

"But I was wondering if you'd be willing to spend your winter break down here with me and Kendall and help us get ready to host Christmas here. Especially since you know so much about how to…" she pointed to her stomach. "I need a friend now, Katie." She sighed. "I don't know what I'm doing. I beginning to realize how scary it is. And that you did this at eighteen, all by yourself. I know I'll never know what you went through, but I have a lot more appreciation for what you did now."

"My break starts in a week and a half." I stated. "I would love to be here to help you."

"Thank you so much!" she sighed with relief. "I know the guys will love seeing you the week before."

"What?" I caught the last sentence even though she lowered her voice.

"Well, yeah." She bit her lip. "The guys all have to travel here so they stay with us the week until Christmas."

"Lucy, I-"

"Hey." Kendall popped in the door. "I saw your car." He put his hands on my shoulders and leaned down to kiss Nick's head. "What're you doing here?"

"Katie Bear is coming to Christmas week!" Nick giggled. Lucy's eyes grew wide. I gasped slightly and pushed Nick off my lap. Kendall looked at me.

"Why did you call me that, Nicholas?" I asked, too surprised to realize I used his long name.

"Uncle James said that's what he used to call you. He said you liked it. Why don't you like it?" Nick looked saddened at my unhappy reaction.

"When did he tell you that?" Kendall wondered.

"A long long time ago." Nick's eyes got big.

"So probably last year." Lucy explained to me. I nodded. The name shook me. I hadn't heard it in years.

"Will you still come to Christmas even though I called you a bad name?" Nick asked, fear in his eyes. I knelt in front of him.

"Of course I'm still coming. For a whole week." Kendall looked at Lucy when I said that. "And it wasn't a bad name. It's a very nice name. I just hadn't heard it in a long long time. I was surprised, that's all."

"It's a nice name?" Nick smiled.

"A very nice one. Uncle James came up with it when he was very young. Only a little older than you." I smiled a little at the memory.

"Can I keep calling you it?" Nick asked hopefully. I didn't know how to respond. Thankfully, Kendall jumped in.

"Hey, bud, that's Uncle James' special nickname for Aunt Katie. Let him have his name for her."

"Will he call you it at Christmas?" Nick wondered.

"Probably not." I shook my head.

"He might." Kendall answered quickly and Nick smiled. "Say goodbye."

"Bye, Aunt Katie!" Nick hugged me goodbye. I held him and felt his heart beat through my whole body. I remembered when I could feel his heartbeat from my stomach. I loved him. I suddenly felt like crying. I needed to get out.

"Bye, guys." I waved and opened the door. "I'll see you in a week and a half."

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"A party? Tonight?" I hadn't bothered much with college parties until my sophomore year and now that I had graduated, parties weren't on my regular schedule.

"This'll be fun." Cammie, my coworker smiled as we walked up the steps of a frat house.

"Parties aren't really my thing." I shrugged. "I really need to pack my suitcase for Kendall's house. I'm leaving tomorrow."

"What are you talking about? You could have any guy you wanted the minute you step in a room. You rock parties." She laughed and playfully swatted my shoulder.

"Well I don't want _any_ guy." I muttered.

"What was that?" she leaned in.

"I said let's go." I lied. She clapped her hands.

"You look so good!" she complimented me as we walked in.

"It's just a dress."

"That is not just a dress." Grant, one of my old college friends materialized next to me.

"Hey, Grant." I gave him a fake smile.

"Come on in."

"Thanks." Cammie beamed and headed towards the back of the house.

"How have you been, Katie?" Grant walked with me to the kitchen.

"Oh, pretty good. Still a talent scout, working toward my own business. About to visit the family for the holidays."

"Family? You mean your regular disappearance act?" he teased. "I remember. Every three months you would say you were going down to visit family. But they've never been here."

"Yep." I nodded, starting hate nosy people. "Well I'm still visiting them and they still aren't coming up here. Fine by me."

"Whatever works." He shrugged. He handed me a cup of what smelled like tequila and I was suddenly grateful to Grant. He never held back with me. He didn't lie or sugar coat things. He was real. He was annoying. But he was real.

"I'm actually visiting my brother and his wife." I added, not sure why I felt I owed him an explanation.

"A sibling?" He looked interested.

"My only sibling. Just the older brother." I confirmed.

"I never pegged you for the youngest." He laughed. "You're so bossy."

"Hey, if I wasn't bossy then nothing would ever get done."

"I know that's true." He looked at the groups of people passing by us as we walked out to the patio. There was a large group of people here tonight. Bodies were squished together dancing and in the pool and I was suddenly missing the Palm Woods. "Hey, that's funny."

"What?" I snapped out of my reverie.

"Lisa told me she's pregnant, but isn't that her at the bar?" Grant pointed across the backyard to a tall, blonde girl accepting a drink from a makeshift bar. "Oh well, her choice. Trent knocked her up. So her kids would be disfigured either way." He laughed at his cruel joke. And before I knew what I was doing, I was shoving Grant aside and rushing through the crowd to Lisa.

"What do you think you're doing?" I confronted her. I ripped the cup from her hands, spilling the drink on my dress in the process.

"Katie!" she cried in disbelief. "What was that for?" I grabbed her hand and led her away and out the back gate.

"Are you pregnant?" I made her look me in the eye. She didn't answer. "Answer me, Lisa." I tugged on her arm. "Please."

"Yes." She gave in. "So? Lots of people get pregnant way younger. I graduate this year. It will be fine."

"I'm not here to judge you." I promised her. "But you were just about to drink alcohol."

"I already had some." She sighed. I dropped her arm in shock.

"What?" I hissed. "You knowingly consumed alcohol while carrying a baby? Are you stupid? Lisa, that's dangerous!"

"Whoa, Katie. Calm down. I don't even want the kid anyway. If it's all gross, I'll just give it up for adoption. It's not like I want to be a mom anyway."

"Lisa, right now, you could be deciding whether a kid walks or is in a wheelchair for the rest of its life!" I cried, trying to make her see the importance of being sober.

"Katie, what's gotten into you? Why do you even care? I haven't seen you in months and this is what you have to say?" she shook her head. "Touching."

"I care so much! That's why I'm so worried about this!"

"What's it to you? What do you even know about having a kid? You don't know the first thing about being pregnant and the stigma and what it feels like!" she snapped. "I get made fun of every day, called a whore, a slut. Trent doesn't want a thing to do with me, my professors look at me like I'm homeless, and no one wants to be my friend! I just want to come to a party and unwind where no one is going to laugh at me. So don't lecture me."

"I will lecture you!" I raised my voice to match hers. "I do know what it's like to have a kid! More so than you! And let me tell you, my son is beautiful! He has working legs and a perfect smile and you know how he ended up so great? I didn't drink while I was carrying him! I may not have been a decent enough mother to keep him or tell his father, but at least I gave him the chance at a healthy body! So I will lecture you because let me tell you," I grabbed her hands and looked her in the eyes, still yelling, "the last thing you want it to push that thing out of you and realize that you've destroyed its life for good and you'll have to live with that for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!" I gasped for air. And that's when I realized Lisa was crying. Sobbing. I wasn't a hugger so I did the next best thing. "Come with me." I took her and led her down the street. I was going to fix this.

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"No permanent damage." Lisa repeated the words to herself as the ER nurse handed her the ultrasound photos. She took them with reverence.

"It's beautiful." I smiled at her.

"Thanks to you." Lisa had a few stray tears running down her cheeks. "How…I mean…you have a son?"

"Yes. I remember holding his ultrasound and thinking I was screwed for life. But really I was screwed without him." I laughed slightly.

"Where is he now? Do you know?" Lisa wondered.

"I know where he is. I see him often. I'll leave it at that." I explained firmly.

"Are you happy you gave him up?"

"No. But I'm happy for him. Because he's having a much better life with his family than he would've with me."

"You were a freshman in college?"

"Hard to believe, right?" I made a face.

"You didn't tell anyone."

"No, I didn't have any friends. Like you said, no one wants to be friends with a pregnant girl."

"You knew everything. And I yelled at you." Lisa frowned at herself.

"It's ok. You didn't know."

"Thank you. For taking me here. It's really…I mean, I think I know how I'm going to approach this now. I'm a mother. It's my job to give this kid something good even if that means just having it."

"That sounds really good." I smiled. "Do you need a ride home?"

"No, I called Trent and told him where I was. He said he's coming and we're going to go out for coffee."

"Good." I nodded. "I have a long drive ahead of me, so I'm gonna head out. Call me if you need anything else. Anything. I'll be back up here after Christmas."

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As soon as I stepped out of the ER, I burst into tears. With shaky fingers I called Kendall's phone. He answered on the third ring.

"Hey, baby sister, what's shakin?"

"Kendall?" I sniffled. I heard him freeze.

"What happened? Are you ok?"

"A girl. At a party. She was drinking. And she was pregnant. And I…I…" I couldn't finish. He knew immediately.

"You took her to the hospital, right?"

"Yeah. We got the ultrasound. It's ok. She's ok." I was gasping for breath.

"Go home, Katie. Go to bed. It's ok."

"I'm leaving for LA now." I decided.

"That's not a good idea." He sounded scared. "Katie, you're in no condition to be driving four hours right now."

"I need to see him!" I cried. "I need to know he's ok! That I didn't ruin him!"

"You didn't, Katie. It was one time. You checked. No damage. He's fine. He's perfect."

"I need to!" I sobbed. "I'm coming. Now!" I hung up and began the drive to my apartment. I'd grab my suitcase and drive like mad to get to my son. I need to see his face. His legs. I needed to remind myself that I didn't mess up the one pure thing I had created.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

James' POV:

It was two in the morning when the crying woke me up. I heard the front door open and bags hit the floor. I heard hushed voices. The walls at Kendall's house were pretty thick, but he had told me that Katie was coming in the middle of the night and she was upset. But I hadn't heard Katie this upset in a long time. I tossed the blankets off of me and went to the door of the guest room and listened through, trying to hear what was going on.

"I need-" was all I heard before the front door closed again and the house was quiet. I made a decision. In only a pair of sweats I left my room and opened the front door. It was dark, but I picked out Katie and Kendall at the end of the driveway. They were arguing and Katie's voice kept cracking. She was sobbing. My heart broke. I had forgotten what it was like to hear her sob. Then, within a matter of seconds, she was sprinting up the driveway.

"Catch her!" Kendall yelled. I did as I was told. I reached out and scooped her up, the sobbing, screaming mess.

"What do I do with her?" I called.

"Let me…" she whimpered, kicking feebly at me, my shoulder already wet with tears.

"Let you what?" I asked gently, talking like I would to Nick.

"Let me see him."

"She wants to see Nick." Kendall reached us.

"So?" I wondered.

"Right now." He sighed. "And I told her she couldn't wake him up and she could wait until morning."

"So why the tantrum?" I asked. He looked away.

"I want to make sure he's ok." Katie murmured.

"Wish granted." Kendall sighed in defeat and pointed to the living room window. Lucy was awake with Nick and they were waving.

"Nicholas!" Katie cried and squirmed out of my arms and ran for the door. Nick met her on the porch. She knelt and crushed him in her arms, crying in relief from the sound of her voice. "You're ok!"

"Katie," Kendall's voice was edged with warning. "Filter."

"I missed you." She ran her hands over his face lovingly.

"Are you ok, Aunt Katie?" he wondered sleepily.

"Yes, baby, I'm ok." She sighed, sitting back on her heels. "I just remembered something sad and I needed to see a happy face to make me feel better."

"I'm a happy face." He smiled as big as he could. I chuckled. She hugged him.

"I'm sorry to wake you up." She apologized softly.

"I heard you crying. Mommy said you were sad and you would feel better if I came out." He stood proudly. "Do you feel better?"

"Much better." She smiled softly.

"Uncle James was holding you like a baby." Nick rubbed his eyes sleepily. I choked back my laughter and watched the slight blush that appeared on her face. It was dark, but I knew that blush. It happened so rarely. Used to be that only I could make her blush. But now this little man could too. Who had he learned from?

"Uncle James doesn't know when to butt out." She looked over her shoulder at me. I rolled my eyes. I would forgive her since she had had a hard night. Normally I would have to teach her a lesson for being a brat. I shuddered at the thought of touching her like that again.

"I told you that you could come say hello to everyone. But now it's back to bed." Lucy patted Nick's shoulders.

"Will you come with me?" Nick looked at Katie with eyes that could melt stone.

"Always." She picked him up in her arms and for just the slightest second I saw her eyes in his. Those chocolate eyes that would tear you apart and then put you back together in a matter of minutes. And then the moment was gone and she was stepping into the house.

"He really loves her." Lucy smiled at Kendall.

"She was a mess." He sighed and reached out to hold Lucy. She let him lean on her.

"Why was she a mess? I'm still so lost." I frowned, not liking being out of the loop.

"Just something that happened to a friend tonight scared her. She needed some reassurance." Kendall watched me carefully as my eyes trailed to the door of the house. "Leave it, James."

"She looked terrified." I mused, in a trance. I hated seeing that fear in her eyes. I had seen it a few times before I left for school.

"She'll be ok." Kendall decided. "Why don't you go check on them?"

"I don't think she'd like that." I scoffed.

"Go anyway." Lucy prodded. "Since when did you let anyone tell you what to do?" I chuckled to myself and took their advice. I could tell when they wanted a minute. When I entered the house I heard Katie shutting Nick's door and soft steps to the bathroom. And then I heard the shower starting. I sighed and let myself into the guest room.

 _Cause you're my cover, covergirl._

 _Yeah I think you're a superstar, yeah you are_

 _Why don't you know?_

I heard the first few notes of one of our old songs drift from her lips and through the wall. She sang so rarely, always leaving the performing to Kendall, but her voice was beautiful. And I decided that, just for tonight, I'd fall asleep to it.

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Katie's POV:

Waking up on a couch is never pleasant, no matter how comfortable the couch is. It's also not comfortable to wake up to James Diamond making breakfast. Shirtless. With messy morning hair.

"Finally awake." He caught my gaze and went back to fixing himself an omelet.

"Where are my clothes?" I looked around the couch for where I had left my robe the night before. It was nowhere to be found.

"I think Lucy said something about doing laundry." He mumbled, focused on cutting up tomatoes. "Why?"

"Nothing." I looked down at my body, covered by blankets. I hadn't exactly brought walk-around-the-house pajamas. They were my silk and lace short and tank-top set. The ones James had bought me for my graduation present. This was about to get ten times more awkward. I got out of the blankets and came around the island into the kitchen. "How did you sleep?" He looked up and dropped the spatula he was holding. His eyes raked over my body and I felt my face heating up.

"You're wearing the lingerie I bought you." His voice was husky. "In Kendall's house."

"It's not lingerie." I argued. "Pajamas."

"Do you always wear gifts like this around your family?"

"I planned to have my robe over it." I added. "If Lucy hadn't washed it."

"I thought you would have gotten rid of them." He turned back to his cooking.

"Why?" I asked as I grabbed a banana and peeled it slowly.

"Considering we broke up." He ground out and dropped the omelet on a plate. He handed the plate to me. I looked up at him. "Eat." He nodded at the food.

"But I thought-"

"I already ate. We all have. They're gone to the park. I stayed to make sure you weren't dead. Eat." He explained.

"Thank you." I took the plate gingerly and searched for a fork.

"I'm gonna go shower. After I get out, please have some clothes on." He breezed out of the kitchen before I could reply. I sighed and hopped up on the counter to finish my breakfast. And I grudgingly had to admit that he had only gotten better at making omelets since we had dated. I felt like throwing the plate at his head. Or jumping him in the shower, either one worked. I shook my head. He was right. I needed food in me. I wasn't thinking straight.

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James' POV:

That girl had no idea what she did to me. I stood in the shower, trying my best to keep from moaning. I didn't want her thinking she had gotten the better of me. But she was wearing lingerie! The lingerie I had gotten her! In an empty house. With those beautiful morning curls framing her face. And that crack in her voice she had in the morning before it warmed up. All those little things I remembered…they added up. I knew Katie Knight. And her trying to hide for a few years didn't change that. I knew her and that's what made her uncomfortable. Few people really knew her and I did. Maybe better than anyone.

"Uncle James!" I heard the door fly open. I quickly shut off the water.

"Hey, Pal!" I pulled the curtain back to see him standing in the bathroom. He really had no boundaries. "Think you could hand me that towel?" I motioned to the towel on the rack a few feet away.

"Yep." He passed it to me and I had just enough time to get it around my waist and step out of the shower when,

"Hey, Nick, do you want to come help me-" Katie froze in the doorway, mouth hanging open. I smirked.

"Close your mouth." I chuckled. There was that blush again.

"Uncle James, why is she blushing?" Nick asked.

"She likes the way I look and she's too embarrassed to tell me." I explained. She glared daggers at me.

"Aunt Katie, why are you embarrassed to tell Uncle James that you like the way he looks?" Nick turned to her. I thanked God this kid was alive. The look on her face was precious.

"I'm not embarrassed." She muttered.

"You can tell him." Nick whispered to her. "I won't laugh at you."

"I might." I snickered. The towel shifted slightly lower on my hips and I saw her eyes dart there. I knew I had her hooked. She needed me.

"Nick!" Kendall's voice rang throughout the house. Katie snapped out of it and grabbed Nick, pulling him out of the bathroom and closing the door. I heard Kendall ask her something and a quick reply of,

"Nothing!"

I laughed to myself and wiped my hair out of my face. One thing hadn't changed. Messing with Katie Knight was always fun.

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Kendall's POV:

"Surprise!" Katie stood in the living room to greet Carlos and Logan when they came in. They looked at her in shock. "I'm here for Christmas."

"She's here for Christmas!" Nick yelled in excitement, dancing around her.

"Is James-" Carlos began.

"Yep." James appeared from around the corner. "James is here also." Logan and Carlos looked around like they expected a bomb to go off. Mom came in through the doorway.

"Nicholas!" Mom smiled.

"Grandma!" Nick ran to her and hugged her eagerly.

"Oh good, Katie you got here." Mom handed me a tray of cookies. I smiled and helped her carry her stuff to the kitchen. "I'm not staying nights but I thought I'd bring over some provisions. We have lots of kids to feed." As she said that, Lucy and I shared a look. Katie noticed and raised her eyebrows at me. I shook my head.

"I can't wait to see what you all got me for Christmas!" Carlos gushed excitedly.

"It's giving the presents, not getting, that's the fun part." Logan added quickly, aware that Nick was listening.

"Maybe we should have gotten James some condoms." I muttered to Lucy. She burst into giggles, causing everyone to stare. "Too late." I added in a whisper. "Like five years too late."

"What are you laughing about?" Katie crossed her arms.

"Nothing. Nothing." Lucy shook her head and wiped her eyes. "Married stuff, you'd hate it."

"Yeah, we all know that Katie isn't the marrying type." I joked. We began to laugh, but I noticed Katie's gaze drift to James as he stepped out of the house. She caught my eye and I motioned for her to follow him. She ducked out after him and I had everyone help me get sleeping arrangements settled.

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Katie's POV:

"They were right, you know." James turned to face me, knowing I was there without having to look. "You really aren't the marrying type."

"Stop with the underhanded jabs and just say it already." I challenged. He kept his distance.

"You can't commit to anything or anyone! Of course you're not the marrying type! You left me for no other reason than it being too hard! Well reality check, Katie, life is hard and the hard is what makes love worth it. You were worth it to me."

"So what? You're saying that you knew you were gonna marry me?" I chuckled dryly. But he met my gaze solidly.

"Yes."

"Wait…" I caught my breath. Did he just say...?

"Well what did you expect? I told you I loved you. I planned to date you through college. You were supposed to be mine for the rest of our lives!"

"But I thought that….it just didn't seem fair that…" I groaned in frustration. What was I supposed to tell him?

"What? WHAT?" he cried. "Just tell me exactly what you've been trying to tell me for these past five years!"

"I was protecting you!" I cried.

"Nice try. Don't make yourself out to be the hero here. You wrecked my life."

"I wasn't your life."

"You were everything. You know that. I didn't hold back with you. Not with you." He got quiet, simply looking at me.

"Well it's too messed up now. I don't even know…" I put a hand to my forehead. What could even happen here? I couldn't even begin to fix this whole thing. It was easier to just keep going with it and accept the fact that there would be casualties. "I made the right choice."

"No. You didn't." he growled. He scared me when he was like this. So intimidating and serious. It reminded me of Nick when he saw a hurt animal in the road or someone was mean to his friends.

"I know you don't think so. But I did and one day you might see that and I hope that then you can forgive me for doing what I had to do."

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Kendall's POV:

It was two nights later that everything…fell apart. I kind of new that it would. She couldn't keep that secret forever. It just didn't unravel exactly the way I thought. Everyone was watching a movie, save two. Katie and I were outside, trying to talk over some financial planning for Nick's college fund.

"You know, if James knew, he could pitch in." I reminded her. "He has a lot of money that he wishes he could do something helpful with."

"Then give it to charity." Katie snapped. Ever since her fight with James she had avoided him and all conversations involving him. Now I was the bad guy for bringing him up.

"Katie, this is ridiculous!" I made her listen. "At least just tell him. No one says that Nick has to know or you have to date James again, but at least tell him!"

"I'm saving him!"

"You are not! He needs someone to love! He loves Nick already! You see the way he cares for your kid. You know he needs that in his life. He needs you." I blurted before I could stop myself.

"The whole reason that we came up with this arrangement in the first place was because I knew nothing about raising a kid and neither did he!" she argued. "This is the best way to handle it!"

"For you maybe! But not everyone else! You're just being selfish!" I couldn't stand to listen to her make all these decisions anymore. "That kid is someone else's too. Now I don't know if you think you have some sort of motherly right to make all the decisions, but you don't. That is James' kid too and you made that decision without him. That's not right or fair or respectful and I'm starting to have a problem with that."

"And what are you gonna do about it?" she threatened. "This is how it's panned out. We can't change it. You're as deep in this as I am. You agreed to help me."

"No, I agreed to raise Nicholas. You have to do all your other dirty work on your own."

"I just….ugh! I just wanted to give James a chance at life before I sentenced him to being a father! And I wanted a chance too! Is that so much to ask?" she threw up her hands in desperation.

"James needs to know." I put my hand gently on her shoulder and I saw a loan tear fall.

"Come on in! We're playing a board game!" Lucy called. We walked in together, trying to look like we hadn't just been screaming about Nicholas. We sat down to play a riveting round of the board game of Life. It was at the point where we all started adding pegs to our cars that things got…complicated.

"The pegs are kids." Lucy explained to Nick who was on a team with Katie.

"But you can't have kids." Nick frowned. Lucy looked at me in panic. Uh oh.

"Where did you hear that?" Lucy asked, trying to stay calm.

"Uncle Logan told me you can't have kids. That's why you got me as a gift." He smiled. Lucy smiled too.

"This is just a game, buddy, so your mom can have kids in the game. It's pretend." James explained.

"This is a game?" Nick clarified.

"Yes. A fun one." Carlos nodded.

"Mommy shouldn't play." Nick shook his head. Lucy frowned.

"Why not, bud? Why can't I play?" she pretended to look hurt.

"Because you've been sick. You shouldn't play too hard." Nick repeated something he'd heard said many times. Lucy looked at me again, this time it was clear she was desperate for help.

"I thought you said she wasn't sick." James looked at me. Crap.

"She's not!" Katie spoke up, trying to help.

"But she threw up yesterday." Carlos looked at me. "Didn't you do anything?"

"It's ok, Carlos, it's fine." Lucy tried to calm his fears.

"No, she threw up two days ago." Logan frowned at Carlos. Then Logan's eyes widened. The doctor in the group had finally put two and two together. Lucy saw the realization on his face and shook her head. He looked at me and then at her.

"What?" James looked at Logan. "What is it? Why do you look like that?"

"Oh!" Carlos shouted. "I get it! Lucy's pregnant!" he started laughing. I cringed. She grabbed my hand for comfort. I squeezed to let her know it was ok.

"No she's not." James swatted Carlos' knee. "Be nice. Remember? She can't have kids. Don't make it harder than it already is for her."

"How far along are you?" Logan asked her. James reached across and smacked Logan's head.

"Did you not hear me? I said don't make it harder for her. You're gonna make her upset!"

"James." Lucy got his attention. "Thank you but, it's ok." She eased him back to a sitting position. "Katie, could you please put Nick to bed for me?" Lucy turned to Katie who was starting to look like she was going to run.

"Absolutely." Katie offered Nick her hand and the two walked off down the hall. Once they had gone, Lucy looked back to James.

"James, I am pregnant." Lucy breathed. James' mouth fell open. I smiled and kissed her hand as Carlos and Logan congratulated us.

"Guys this is great!" James cried. "But, if you don't mind me asking, what happened to being barren? Lucy you were so sure. Isn't that why you guys adopted Nick?"

"No. It isn't." I sighed. "She was never barren. We needed an excuse for people to believe about why we had adopted Nick instead of having our own kids."

"But then why did you adopt him?" Logan asked. "Just for fun? Test run?"

"A friend of ours couldn't handle being a mother at the time. So we took him for her and raised him." Lucy explained. I could feel her heart pounding through our hands. It was only a matter of time before James found out.

"You mean, Nicholas belongs to someone we know?" Carlos' eyes widened.

"No, Nick belongs to them." Logan swatted Carlos. "He's their kid."

"When did you adopt him again?" James stood, his voice beginning to have an edge to it.

"We adopted him in the spring four years ago." Lucy answered coolly. We watched him do the math.

"We were at the hospital when he was born." I added. "It worked out well that he looked like me. I mean, no one would suspect that he got our family genes from-"

"Katie." James breathed. He looked at me, waiting for me to tell him he was stupid. I didn't. I just looked at him. I watched him process his thought. Watched it form into an idea.

"We promised we would let her name him." Lucy bit her lip. "She named him Nicholas for you I think."

"Nicholas Diamond." I spelled it out for him. "At least, that's what the certificate said."

"Nicholas _James_ Diamond." Katie spoke up from the hall. We all looked to her. James turned to face her. She was biting her lip, her hands balled into fists and her eyes wet with tears waiting to fall.

"Katie, I…" he swallowed and looked around like he had forgotten where he was. "What they said…it's all true?"

"Yes." She nodded quietly. His eyes widened. She stepped into the light more and took a deep breath. "I know you probably have a lot of questions right now and you're probably really mad and you have every right to be but I want you to know that I love him and I love you and I was just doing the best I could. I'm going to go stay at Mom's right now. So you don't have to see me or anything. I mean I just-" she was cut off by him pressing his lips to hers. I was shocked. I expected him to be angry. Beyond angry. But he had his huge hands wrapped around her tiny waist like a man with a purpose. He pulled back.

"I'm so angry with you right now." He breathed. I chuckled. Classic James. Angry? Kiss the girl. That'll make it better.

"But you just-"

"Sh." He put a hand over her mouth. "I know. Tomorrow, you are going to sit down and tell me this whole thing from the beginning like you should have done. And I'm bringing a bottle of gin." He nodded and grabbed his coat. "You've made a mess of things, Katie Bear, and I don't appreciate it." He kicked the garbage can over and opened the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I need air. I need time to think. I need to think." And with that he was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

James' POV:

"He's ours." I said for probably the tenth time since sitting down in Kendall's living room. The whole gang had gone ice skating, except Katie and me. I had stumbled into the house at six in the morning, slightly drunk, and very angry. Good thing Katie had gone to Mama Knight's house because if she had been there when I got back, I might have said something I'd regret. Of course I was mad! Don't think for a second that I was passively waiting for Katie to come up with an excusable reason for this whole thing. But I also still loved her. And I most certainly didn't want to hurt her.

"Yeah." She leaned across the coffee table and pointed to the birth certificate that was in front of me. "I did a lot of things wrong, but I did this right." She flopped back against the couch, nursing her own glass of wine and wrapped in a cocoon of blankets.

"And the name…"

"I knew you were going to be stripped of a lot of dad privileges. I thought if your kid at least was running around with the name you wanted…it might make up for some of it." She got quiet, realizing how stupid she sounded. I chuckled.

"I can't believe I didn't see it. I knew there was more to you than that."

"You seemed pretty convinced that I was just a cruel person." She retorted. I looked her straight in the eyes.

"Katie Knight. I know you. I know you inside and out. Do you really think I didn't suspect something when you suddenly decided to dump me? That's not you." I shook my head and laughed dryly. "But I never suspected a kid. Maybe another guy, maybe image. I even toyed with the idea that drugs were involved." I watched her mouth drop open in indignation. "But," I continued quickly, "that was a little extreme."

"I wish I could go back and do it differently. I know it was bad." She ran her hands over her face in exasperation. "I'm sorry. I know me saying that isn't near enough, not for something like this, but it's all I got."

"It's a start." I sighed. I watched her pour herself another glass and I took a swig from my bottle of gin. "You still have a lot of explaining to do. Start at the beginning. I want to hear it all."

"All?" she giggled and I smiled to hear that sound again.

"From when you first found out."

"I found out the day after graduation." She grimaced. "I had been feeling sick and kept putting it off, hoping it wasn't what I thought. But there was that specific time that we didn't use protection…"

"I remember." I nodded. I watched her blush as we both thought back to a very different time, a time when we knew each other's body intimately. I tilted my head and wondered if she still liked to be pinned down. She caught me looking.

"What?"

"Nothing." I tried to focus. "But you did go? To the doctor I mean."

"Yes. Alone." She confirmed. "I didn't want a scandal. The band was still a lot more fresh. Even though you split, something could still crop up. I didn't want to drag anyone into that, least of all you."

"And what did you do when you found out?" I asked.

"I cried." She stated coolly. I met her eyes and she sat straight, rigid.

"I could've been there for you. I want to have!" a wave of passion hit me. "We were a team. I was supposed to be there for you. Hear the news with you. That we had a son. And you wouldn't have cried. It would have been happy."

"It was my entire life spiraling out of control." She whispered. "I hid it for the summer. Obviously you don't remember my sickness, my cravings, anything like that. Which means I did a good job."

"I knew something was bothering you. But I guess I just chalked it up to you being sad about moving away and saying goodbye to everyone." I couldn't believe I hadn't seen through her lies. How much she was hurting.

"It wasn't your fault." It was like she had read my mind.

"Katie, a kid is meant to have both of its parents from day one."

"That's why Kendall and Lucy adopted him." She replied. "It was the most logical thing to do. They were stable enough to have a kid. I wasn't. The solution was right there."

"You couldn't have at least told me?"

"No." she sighed. "Be honest, James. Would you have let Kendall adopt Nick if you had found out I was pregnant?"

"No I would not." I answered decidedly. I watched her roll her eyes.

"See. That's why. I knew you'd want to raise Nick. But that would've ruined all your plans for college and a career and tainted your reputation. I wasn't going to let you throw that all away."

"Well Katie, believe it or not, that wasn't your decision to make." I snapped. She froze. "I admit that most of the time you know exactly what you're doing and you're miles ahead of everyone. But that doesn't give you the right to run other peoples' lives. You realize that, don't you? That you were wrong to do this?" I waited to hear her answer. If she would just admit that she had been wrong then we might actually get somewhere.

"I know." She gave in. And she started crying. I was shocked. Katie never cried. And when she did it was in private. "You don't know the guilt I've lived with these past years, knowing that there was a whole part of your life that I had kept from you. That you'd hate me and that I had lost you."

"Hey hey." I scooted across the floor to the couch and put my hands on her legs. "Katie." I tried to soothe her. "I don't hate you. I'm really really mad, but that won't be forever. And you haven't lost me. I'm here. Katie, I can't hate you ever because you have given me the best gift that anyone could. You gave me Nick." I watched the tears continue to run down her cheeks as she tried to see me through watery eyes.

"But that won't be enough." She muttered under her breath, hiccupping.

"What?" I leaned in.

"Nothing." She snapped quickly. She wiggled out of my grasp and began to untangle herself from the blankets.

"Katie, I mean, we need to talk about-"

"I know. Child support." She cut me off, assuming what I was going to say. She was assuming wrong, but I let her continue. "Kendall said that you'd want to help and obviously I'm not going to say you can't, but you also don't have to. I make enough now to cover his college fund and other stuff."

"I'm going to send checks." I looked at her like she was stupid. "Did you even need to ask?"

"No." she smiled softly. She looked beautiful. Her cheeks were tear-stained, her hair was tangled and her nose was red. And she was beautiful.

"Katie, I want to talk about where we go from here." I tried again. She looked at me in confusion.

"If you're deciding to send checks, and you already visit him, what else is there to discuss?"

"You and me." I choked. I watched as her face hardened and her eyes grew large.

"What's to discuss?"

"You know you don't want to ask that again." I threatened, clenching my fists at my side. She knew what would get under my skin. She knew what she was doing. And she was going to pay for it.

"And what if I did?" she challenged. I watched a fire ignite in her eyes. I had her. She was hooked. I reached for her, grabbing her waist and pulling her onto the floor. I rolled her under me, smiling when I heard her squeal of surprise. I pinned her down and straddled her hips so she couldn't move.

"You are going to listen to me carefully." I hissed. She nodded quickly. "You are mine. I took you, you gave yourself to me, screaming my name." she blushed. "You can't take that back. I don't care if you try to run or hide, but I will find you and make you admit that you want to be with me. That you don't have the answer to everything and you need someone else's help for once. My help." I was breathing heavily, starting to notice the friction our bodies were creating.

"James." She breathed, her chest rising and falling quickly. "I never wanted to end things."

"I know." I nodded. "I know. But you did. And that hurt more than you can imagine." I swallowed. "But you can make up for lost time. You're still mine, Katie Knight, and now that I have you, you're not leaving me again."

"I don't want to leave." She gasped. I smiled. She smiled back. Then she twisted my arms and before I knew it she was straddling me, smirking. "You've gotten rusty." She shook her head, giggling. "You look like you saw a ghost."

"I don't know how I ever missed the resemblance." I murmured. Her eyes softened.

"I saw you in him the minute I held him." She whispered. I froze. My heart swelled. She slid off of me and we both sat up. "What are we going to do?" she sighed. She looked to me and I realized that she was starting to ask for help. She wanted me to tell her what to do. She needed me.

"Should we let Nick grow up never knowing that we're his parents?" I winced. It was so hard to imagine that. But it might be necessary.

"I meant between you and me." She admitted. "What do we do?"

"Well, be my girlfriend again, duh." I squinted at her. "Are you stupid?" She laughed and shook her head.

"It's not that easy, James."

"I think it is that easy and that's why it scares you." I guessed. She made a grumpy face. "Go out on a date with me again."

"Are you asking me out?" she raised her eyebrows.

"Maybe."

"I think you should know first…" she began and I looked at her in concern, "I have a kid. And if that's a problem, get lost." I beamed and kissed her roughly. She frowned.

"What's wrong?" I wondered.

"We can't do this." She shook her head. "We can't. James, I've screwed things up and we're both different people. We can't just act like this never happened so we can be together again."

"We're not ignoring this." I protested. "We're living through it. Together."

"It's not smart."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore." I challenged. She caught her breath and looked away. I took her chin and made her look at me again. "Because I love you. It never changed. I changed. But the way I've loved you never has."

"Stop being so cute and poetic!" she griped and stood up. "I missed iceskating today because of you." She crossed her arms. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'll take you iceskating later then." I promised. "On a date." I added.

"No." she bit her lip. "No dates."

"Katie, it took you years to get me. Are you really going to let me slip through your fingers just like that?" I smirked. She blushed. I loved teasing her about the crush she had on me when she was in middle school.

"Don't think that your charm is going to convince me that things aren't different."

"I'm not trying to convince you of that." I swore. "I'm trying to convince you that things aren't so different that we need to live life without each other."

"James, this Christmas has already been too full of drama. I feel guilty for bringing this into the entire family. For now, we have to put our feelings aside and function like we always have. For Nick's sake."

"For Nick's sake, I'm going to woo you back so that when he inevitably finds out we're his parents, he'll see us together and happy." I argued.

"Woo me back?" she raised her eyebrows and smiled skeptically. "You haven't had to work hard at your flirting game in years. I think you'll have some trouble."

"None at all." I replied confidently, looking her up and down. "Man, you look really good for having had a kid." I blurted. She blushed.

"I was already small." She shrugged. "The rest I had lots of time to work off at the gym."

"You're beautiful." I murmured. I watched her eyes light up slightly. It lasted a few seconds before she broke the trance.

"Stop!" she stomped her foot. I laughed. "It's not going to work!"

"We'll see." I winked and grabbed my coat.

"Where are you going?" she watched me get ready to leave.

"Lucy wants cookie cutters for baking tonight. Apparently Nick broke most of them last year." I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Destructive. Hm. Sounds like his father." She pursed her lips.

"Would you expect anything else?" I laughed and pocketed my keys. "Think you can last an hour without me?"

"Just go." She groaned and pushed me out the door. I smiled to myself. Katie Knight didn't stand a chance.

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"I love this song!" Lucy was dancing in the kitchen with Kendall while Katie and Nick rolled cookie dough. I watched my son with his mom and couldn't help but smile. She was standing behind him and helping him roll out the dough. Every time I would try to sneak bits of dough, she'd whack me with the rolling pin and Nick would laugh hysterically.

"Guys! Come decorate!" Katie called Carlos, Logan, and I into the kitchen to decorate our cookies. Nick was already started on a football player that actually looked more like a cat that fell in a mud puddle.

"What do you think of my popstar Kendall?" Lucy showed us the cookie man that she had decorated to look like Kendall. He had a mic in his hand.

"Very nice." I nodded. "You really did him justice."

"Nah, you made him look better." Katie called from her claimed counter territory. I laughed under my breath. Kendall glared at me.

"Nick, I love your mud monster!" Carlos yelled. "It's so scary!" he pretended to be afraid and jumped into my arms. I tossed him away from me.

"He's making a football player." I corrected Carlos. "Idiot."

"No, it's a mud monster." Nick changed his mind.

"Ha!" Carlos pointed at me. "Mud monster!" I rolled my eyes.

"Are you sure you can keep these cookies down?" Kendall looked at Lucy uncertainly. "You haven't been able to eat like this in a week."

"It's Christmas cookies!" Lucy laughed. "Even if I puke later, it's worth it now."

"I don't think that's how it works." Logan spoke up.

"No one asked you." Lucy grumbled.

"It doesn't matter how many years we've been in California, I still always miss the snow from Minnesota." Katie sighed dreamily. She set her cookie on the drying sheet. It was a girl cookie dressed to play outside in the snow.

"It's still Christmas." Lucy shrugged and took a bite of another cookie. "And we still have more decorating to do."

"More?" I looked around at the amount of decorations they already had up. "Does your building code allow that?"

"Very funny." Kendall smacked my head.

"The Knights are firm believers in over-decorating." Katie spoke up as she took another pan of cookie dough out of the oven. "Decorating is one of the best parts. Kendall's right. They need some more decorations."

"Then I nominate Katie to finish decorating before Christmas." Lucy decided.

"And I nominate James to help her." Kendall added. Katie glared at him.

"You're not subtle at all, big brother." She growled. I chuckled.

"He could use some of your Christmas spirit. He hasn't really celebrated Christmas in a while." Kendall nodded to me. Katie looked over at me.

"Think you can keep up with me?" she wiggled the bait in my face. Unfortunately for me, I was competitive.

"I may not be a Christmas Crazy," I scoffed, "but I'm man enough to keep up with you playing Santa."

"Congratulations. You're hired." She shoved an empty tray of cookies into my hands. "Tomorrow we shop. Tonight you wash dishes."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

James' POV:

"Look out!" I shouted as Katie swerved around a bicyclist. I clung to the arms of the seat. She revved the engine with a Cheshire smile.

"Your car is awesome!" she cried. She drifted slightly around a corner.

"Careful!" I warned. She rolled her eyes and sped up. She had hit the gas the minute we had left LA for the hills. She had begged me to let her drive my Dodge Charger, claiming that she had gotten better while at college. She was wrong.

"You have a beast at your fingertips!" she spun the wheel to the right and we slipped slightly across into the oncoming lane. I accepted that today was the day I would die.

"I see you haven't forgotten anything." I smiled. She looked away from the road for the first time and locked eyes with me.

"Something tells me you haven't driven your cars like this in a while." She guessed.

"It was no fun without you screaming in the seat next to me." I admitted. "Except now I think it's reversed. Maybe I taught you too much about cars."

"You're wasting this car if you're not driving it like this at least once a week." She decided.

"You mean driving it in the middle of nowhere?" I began to notice that we were well past any gas stations or houses even. "Where are we even going? You said shopping."

"We will be shopping." She smiled evilly. "Almost there." After five more minutes she pulled off to the side of the road and stopped the car. I looked over at her.

"Is this the part where you kill me?" I joked. She playfully slapped my shoulder.

"Get out of the car." She ordered.

"Yes, Ma'am." I slid out and caught the keys she tossed to me.

"Let's go." She pointed off into the forest. I looked at her like she was crazy. "This year, we're getting a real Christmas tree."

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Katie's POV:

"Katie, come back here!" James came running after me through the field that separated us from the tall fir trees that grew together a ways off. "Katie!"

"I told you, no one will know." I promised.

"It's illegal!" he came stumbling up next to me. "And where'd you get the saw?" he looked at the old fashioned saw in my hands.

"It was my dad's, and it's only illegal if someone catches us."

"That's definitely not the way legality works." He took the saw from me. I kept walking. "Why can't you just live with a fake tree like over half of the United States?"

"Because we had a real Christmas tree in Minnesota." I slowed as we approached the first trees. "Look for the young ones." I commanded.

"We haven't had a real Christmas tree in years. Why now?" he prodded.

"Because just because our kid is being raised in LA, that doesn't mean I want him to miss out on true Christmas experience. He deserves real trees. He deserves the childhood we had." I sighed. I watched him process the words. Then he straightened up and began looking through the trees for a good one. I smiled to myself.

"What do you think of this one?" he called me over.

"Too dry." I shook my head. "But I found one over here." I led him back in my direction. I had forgotten how fun it was to participate in this tradition. Especially with James. He had been there when I was little and now we were doing it for Nick. It wasn't as cold, and the whole family wasn't here, and ok it was slightly illegal, but it was a real tree we were getting. Together.

"I found the perfect one." James appeared next to me and took my hand. I hadn't held his hand in years. But it felt just as natural. We felt older, but we still had young hands. Young hearts. "What do you think?" he presented the tree he found.

"It's perfect!" I cried. He looked pleased with himself. "You were right!"

"I know." He winked.

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James' POV:

Cutting down the tree was actually the easy part. The hard part was carrying it back to the car.

"Stop holding it so high!" Katie complained.

"Stop being so short." I teased. She kicked the back of my leg. "Ow!"

"Oops." She giggled. I shoved the tree back slightly. "That went in my mouth!" she spat.

"Oops."

"It's poking my boob!" she whined.

"It's poking mine too."

"Oh shut up." She snickered. "You're not funny.

"Yes I am. But lucky for you we're almost to the car." I tossed the tree on the top of the Charger and stood back to catch my breath. "Next year, we're bringing Kendall to help."

"I'm not good enough?" she faked hurt.

"Not at all." I scoffed. "You dragged me out here then made me do all the work."

"Isn't that how it's always been?" she smiled.

"It is." I nodded. "Glad to know you haven't changed."

"I have." She argued.

"We're not starting this." I shook my head and had her hand me the straps to wrap around the tree to keep it in place.

"There's no roof rack." Katie grimaced. Shoot.

"You might have said something before we left the house." I grumbled. "Now how are we taking the stupid thing home?"

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Kendall's POV:

"Surprise!" Katie cried as I walked in the door with Logan and Carlos. I looked into the living room. "We just finished decorating it."

"A tree!" Nick was shouting. Lucy was picking up tinsel that was already falling off. And James was holding the star.

"You actually went out and bought one?" I laughed. "Classic Katie."

"Welllll, actually….." Katie bit her lip. James looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"They cut it down in the hills." Lucy laughed. I gawked at the two of them. "And look how cute it is! It's great!"

"That's so illegal!" I cried. James started laughing now too.

"I tried to tell her." He chuckled.

"I wanted Nick to know what it felt like to decorate a real tree. Like we did when we were little." Katie explained to me. "Please say you like it. It reminds me of Minnesota. That smell of Christmas."

"How'd you get it home?" I wondered.

"Don't ask." James sighed.

"It looks great." I decided. "Hopefully the cops don't come looking for us."

"I saved the star for you." James handed it to me. "And Nick." And then I understood. I was supposed to lift Nick up to put the star on the tree. This was a tough moment for me. But I knew what to do in the end.

"Nick, take the star to your Uncle James." I handed Nick the star. James looked up in surprise. "He'll pick you up and you can put the star on top."

"Really?" Nick looked at James in anticipation.

"Kendall-" James started.

"James, it's fine." I nodded.

"Hold onto it tightly." James instructed Nick. "Here we go." He lifted his son up and held him so he could place the star just right. I met Lucy's eye and she was smiling contentedly. And then I saw Katie. She was standing back, holding Carlos' hand. And there were tears on her cheeks. As James lowered Nick back to the ground, I saw him notice Katie too. We all clapped for Nick.

"What a beautiful tree." Lucy smiled. "Thank you Katie and James for getting it."

"It was Katie, really." James smiled at her. "She has that wicked way of getting you involved without you knowing it."

"Mommy, when will the baby come out of your stomach?" Nick plopped into Lucy's lap.

"Not for a while, Sweetie." Lucy played with his hair.

"Are you excited to be an older brother?" Logan asked Nicholas.

"Yeah." Nick nodded. "But I don't know how to be one."

"You'll learn pretty fast." Kendall laughed. "Aunt Katie came and I learned to be a big brother."

"And we all learned to be Aunt Katie's brothers when we lived with her." Carlos chuckled. "Except she's not so little anymore."

"Aunt Katie, they are all your brother?" Nick asked.

"No no." Katie knelt down and admired her son's face. He looked just like James. "Only Kendall. Uncle Carlos and Logan only take care of me like they're my brother."

"And how does Uncle James take care of you?" Nick looked at James. James blushed. Katie stuttered slightly. "Like mommy and daddy!" Nick guessed. He looked at me and I didn't know what to say. I watched Katie and James blush and avoid eye contact, but the truth is I couldn't correct Nick. He was right. James' love for Katie was something that spanned beyond brotherly love. He would protect Katie with his life. One time a guy at the Palm Woods school called Katie fat and James got suspended for beating him up. Another time Katie got her period earlier than expected at a dance and James helped her hide it and took her home safely. James was the only other guy I trusted to treat Katie better than me.

"Your mommy and daddy are married." James said after a while.

"You and Aunt Katie get married." Nick offered. James' mouth fell open wide. Carlos started laughing. Katie hid her face in her hands.

"I'll put him to bed." Katie offered to Lucy. Lucy nodded. "Let's go to sleep, Nicholas." Katie offered him her hand and started leading him down the hall.

"Uncle James too!" Nick cried. I watched as James dutifully followed Katie and his son out of the room. Logan looked at me.

"That kid knows way more than we give him credit for." His eyebrows were practically at his hairline.

"I believe that if they are meant to be together, they'll decide to try again." Lucy spoke quietly.

"Katie doesn't seem so sure." Carlos admitted. "She was crying."

"We saw." Logan nodded.

"Katie is prideful. She's used to doing this all on her own. She doesn't like the idea of having to admit that she wants a partner. That she's lonely." I explained.

"And she is lonely." Carlos sighed. "Poor thing."

"James better win her back." Lucy stood and stretched. "If he lets her get away again, he won't have the energy to try a third time."

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Katie's POV:

"What song do you want tonight, buddy?" James asked after Nick was tucked into bed. We were each sitting on one side of the bed, leaning over our son. I tried not to show how much I was feeling this moment.

"Yours." Nick decided.

"Which one?" James asked.

"Ball over again." Nick smiled. James looked at me and laughed a little.

"All Over Again it is." He started to hum. I watched his eyes close as he let the melody of the music pour out of him. He still had it. He would always be a musician. " _still got that same look that sets me off._ _'Cause there's just something about you._ _I got these feelings to let it show 'cause I wouldn't let you go._ _I shouldn't of let you go._ " His beautiful voice slowly faded out as he finished the first verse.

"Katie sing too." Nick nudged me with his foot. I quietly shook my head.

"No, bud, Katie doesn't sing." James spoke up.

"Yes she does. She sings to me." Nick argued. Darn that kid. Oh wait. I made him. Darn me.

"Does she?" James looked at me with a smirk on his face.

"If I sing, will you promise to go to sleep?" I asked Nick.

"Promise." He nodded. I sighed and looked at James. " _It's like I'm falling in love all over again._ _For the first time and I know that it feels right._ " James' eyes softened as my voice eased Nick's busy mind. What I wasn't expecting was him to join me.

 _"I think I'm falling in love all over again._ _Love at first sight, do you know how I feel."_ We finished together softly and for a moment we let ourselves look at each other. Wow, I had missed him. And all the work he went through today on behalf of me and that tree was so sweet. And when he had lifted Nick up to the tree with the star, I had gotten a first glimpse of what it could have looked like if I had told James that I was pregnant back when it all started.

"What are you thinking about, Aunt Katie?" Nick asked sleepily.

"You, baby." I brushed some hair out of his face. "I love you."

"I love you too." He whispered. "And so does Uncle James. He told me not to tell you though, so sh." I looked back at James and I saw him glaring at Nick. I laughed to myself.

"Sleep well, kiddo." James kissed Nick's head as I stood up. "And tomorrow I need to teach you the meaning of the word 'secret' ok?"

"Ok." Nick nodded and closed his eyes. James and I tiptoed out of his room and closed the door. We stood alone in the dark hallway together.

"You have a beautiful voice." His voice was husky and for just a second I wanted to feel him pressed against me.

"You told Nick you loved me?" I asked softly, brushing my hand across his face. He froze and looked down at me tenderly.

"Yes." He whispered. "I told him that the only thing I wanted for Christmas was to hear you tell me you love me."

"You're sleep deprived." I brought my hand back to my side. "You won't remember any of this."

"I think you're hoping I won't."

"Go to bed."

"Your pants are see through." He pointed. I gasped and looked down, only then realizing that I was wearing jeans. I looked back up to see him running down the hall. James Diamond a father? Funny that he could still act like a child. I smiled and thought of my crazy guys. They all acted like kids. And that was one of the many reasons I loved them.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Katie's POV:

Two days until Christmas Eve and it was sunny just like always in LA. Unfortunately. But that didn't stop the crew from smiling. Well, most of us. James had started a gingerbread house with Nicholas, promising us it was tradition and would be fun. Nick quit about an hour in and James was grumpily trying make it just the way he wanted. Even the members of our family were being added to the ginger living room. Lucy was resting, trying to get rid of a bout of nausea before Christmas Eve festivities started up. Kendall was waiting on her hand and foot. Classic first time father.

Things were looking as normal as they could. I tried not to think of the way James had looked at me the night before. How much I had wanted to hold onto him for life and let him sweep me away. But I had to be the responsible one of the two of us. It had always been my job.

"Your phone." James startled me out of my reverie and pointed to my vibrating phone on the table between us. It was an unknown number. I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Katie?" a familiar voice called to me. "It's Lisa."

"Lisa!" I recognized her. "How are you?" I got up and stepped away from the commotion in the kitchen and into the hallway where I could focus better.

"I'm ok." She sounded pretty stable. "A lot to figure out, but ok."

"That's great. I didn't keep much from my pregnancy, but if I had I would give it to you." I felt guilty for getting rid of everything so quickly after having Nick.

"That's ok, but that's not why I called."

"What's up?" I wondered.

"I'll be in LA tomorrow with an old friend. I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with us." She proposed.

"That sounds really nice. Where is your boyfriend?"

"Oh, he works tomorrow. But he really wants to meet you. The girl who saved our kid."

"That's a little too nice to me." I laughed off the compliment. "I was just looking out for a fellow mother."

"I will never forget it." Lisa said seriously. "I'll text you the address for the restaurant. And bring a date if you want. I know that you're on vacation and might not know anyone to bring, but if you wanted to…"

"Thanks. I'll see."

"It's set. I'll see you tomorrow."

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James' POV:

I watched Katie walk off down the hall. Who was Lisa? Kendall slid onto the stool that Katie had been at and regarded me across my ginger house.

"Who was that?"

"Someone named Lisa?" I shrugged. I watched Kendall stiffen.

"What?"

"Has she talked to you about any of that?" Kendall asked lightly.

"Any of what?"

"The whole reason she was so upset when she came down in the wee hours of the morning." Kendall explained.

"No." I started to feel hurt that she hadn't brought it up. It was obviously important.

"Look, I don't want to tell you stuff that should be her job to tell you, but Katie caught Lisa drinking at a party that night before and took her to the hospital in time to save the baby."

"That's awful." I was horrified. "Who would drink so much when they were pregnant?"

"Funny you should say that." Kendall looked over at the hall entrance and I watched Katie come walking out. I looked back at Kendall in shock. "Ask her." He suggested and made himself scarce.

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"You could have told me." I looked down at Katie. I had taken her outside and on a walk to understand what had gone down.

"I failed at being a girlfriend and then I failed at being a mother before I even had him." Katie sighed in defeat. "Telling you wasn't something I saw as good."

"And you really don't remember how many drinks you had?" I stopped her and held her hand. "Katie, that's dangerous, even if you weren't pregnant."

"I know. I was young and depressed, ok? I had just lost you and my youth in a matter of months." Her lower lip trembled and I could tell she was trying not to cry. "I just kept accepting drinks."

"And nobody could tell you were pregnant?"

"I wasn't that far along yet. Nobody could have known." She shrugged. "I've been trying to let it go."

"So when you helped Lisa with a similar situation, it kind of haunted you, huh?" I guessed and we started walking again.

"To say the least." She let out a shaky breath. "I just couldn't imagine Nick being messed up because I was stupid. Even though he's perfectly healthy it was like I needed to see him then and there to remind myself that I wasn't a horrible person."

"Katie." I wrapped an arm around her tiny shoulders. "You are not a horrible person." I watched her think on the words. She leaned against me. I smiled.

"Anyway, I feel slightly responsible for Lisa now. I feel like I can really help her and she told me to bring a date to dinner."

"Are you asking me out?" I teased. I felt her roll her eyes.

"No. I'm asking you to come with me to dinner with a friend. Don't get crazy." She shouldered me off of her.

"I'll go if you want me to." I answered honestly. "I don't want to intrude into something I don't understand."

"It's not like that. Apparently she's bringing one of our old college friends." She explained. "Totally casual."

"Ask me nicely." I winked at her. She giggled. I loved when she laughed. Then she slugged me in the stomach. I bent over slightly. Wow, she still had it.

"Please go to dinner with me and Lisa." She batted her eyes. This girl was evil. And I loved it.

"Well who could say no to that?" I gasped for air as I tried to stand up straight. "Still persuasive."

"I have my ways."

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Katie's POV:

"You look nice." James smiled at me as I came out of the bathroom.

"Thanks." I let him help me into a light jacket. "Luckily I packed more than just sweatpants."

"You look great even in sweatpants." He added and held the door open.

"Have fun, you two!" Logan called from the couch where they were starting a Christmas movie and dinner.

"Be home by ten." Kendall joked.

"Not a date." I sang and stepped out of the house.

"I'll take good care of her." I heard James say before closing the door behind us.

The drive to the restaurant was peaceful. James drove and I have to admit, he drove the car a lot more smoothly than I did. But it still had a trace of fir tree scent in the back. It had a calming effect and I found myself feeling younger and like I used to when James would take me out: a princess.

"I've missed you so much." I admitted loosely. He looked over at me as we stopped at a light.

"Have you been drinking?"

"No." I replied indignantly.

"Just checking. Because you seem…happy." He joked. I rolled my eyes. The light turned green and we continued to breeze through the city.

"I'm happier than I have been in a while." I thought to myself. Even in all this drama and stress I was happier. I knew that it had to do with be with James again, but I wasn't ready to face that fact yet.

"We're here." He parked the car. "We have a few blocks to walk."

"Fine by me." I slid out of the car and shouldered my purse. He came around and offered me his arm. I took it and we strolled off down the sidewalk, taking in the city with young eyes. "I haven't been downtown in so long."

"Me neither." He agreed. Neither of us added that it reminded us of our dates. But we both knew we were thinking of them.

"I'm hungry. I hope they have good food." I strained on my toes to see ahead. He chuckled at me.

"Let the man handle this." He looked ahead. "What was the name of the place?"

"Romiroe's?" I tried.

"Yeah it's just up here." Just as he finished reporting, I heard someone call my name.

"Katie!"

"Oh, there's Lisa." I pointed ahead. "She's nice, but kind of naïve. If she says something weird or stupid, just roll with it." I whispered quickly to James. He nodded and straightened up. "Hey." I reached forward and embraced Lisa in a hug. "Good to see you."

"I'm so happy to see you." She gushed. Then she looked back at James standing behind me. "And you brought someone." She smiled.

"James." James reached out and shook her hand.

"Pleased to meet you. I haven't seen Katie with a boy in years." Lisa turned and started leading us the rest of the way. James looked down at me.

"Years?" he waited for me to look at him.

"I'm not a whore." I muttered under my breath. "I was yours." I watched a satisfied look soften his face.

"Marx is at the table." Lisa explained. "You remember him, Katie?"

"Vaguely?" I remembered the name but I had tried so hard to block most of college out.

"He hung out a lot with us when we were freshmen."

"I hope he doesn't hold anything against me." I joked. Lisa laughed and we squeezed past a few more tables.

"Here we are." She pointed to a semi-empty table in the midst of a few full ones. And then I saw him. Marx. There was something familiar about the name. And the face. "Marx, you remember Katie now?"

"Oh yeah." He took my hand. "Katie Knight. You were in business class with me?"

"Right." I nodded.

"And I'm James." James reached out to shake Marx's hand. "Family friend." We all took our seats and I sipped some water, trying to put a finger on where else I had seen Marx. We ordered and still nothing occurred to me. I decided to let it go.

"So, Marx. What brings you into town?" I asked as we were served our Italian meals.

"Lisa was down here to pick something up for her cousin. That worked out because I needed to drop off a resume. I'm getting transferred here for work in a few months."

"And what do you do?" James asked.

"I'm an accountant." Marx explained.

"More wine?" a waitress stopped by the table and offered us. Both Lisa and I shook our heads and Marx nodded. James agreed to some more. Lisa gave me a look. I nodded in encouragement. After the waitress had left another bottle at our table, Marx turned to Lisa.

"Why no wine, Lisa?" he offered her his glass.

"No thanks. I'm on a diet." She declined.

"And Katie." Marx looked back to me. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" I gave him a weird look. Marx turned to James.

"Katie loved a good glass of wine in college. When she was at parties, she was the master drink mixer." He explained. I felt James' eyes on me. I gripped my napkin under the table, trying to keep calm.

"I've definitely given it a rest." I gritted my teeth. Lisa noticed the tension. She looked nervous.

"Speaking of which, I meant to ask if you ended up getting an abortion." He swirled his glass lightly and looked at me with serious eyes. I felt James stiffen next to me. I felt like I was going to throw up.

"I don't understand." I tried to keep my voice light.

"You don't remember telling me you were pregnant?" Marx raised his eyebrows. "I mean, maybe you were just drunk. It was a crazy party, after all." He shrugged. And suddenly I felt like I was suffocating. Because it was like the fog was clearing. Marx was the one that was handing me drinks that night so far gone. And it was him that handed me to one of the girls that lived in my dorm.

"Um, yeah it must have been a loose-lipped night for me." I joked lightly. "You know I could say some crazy things."

"Yeah, you were freaking out." Marx laughed. "Good thing I was with you. The alcohol kicked it and you were great."

"Katie…" James warned.

"Anyway," I spoke up forcefully, "I'd love to hear more about Lisa's cousin and where she lives."

"I'll be right back." Marx excused himself and made off in the direction of the bathroom.

"Katie, I'm sorry. I didn't know he was going to talk about-"

"It's ok." I stopped her, aware that James' fists were clenching under the table. I let go of my napkin and gently rested a hand on his thigh. And for a moment it calmed him. I felt his body loosen slightly. "Tell me more about your cousin. Please." I insisted.

"I need some air." James whispered to me. "I'm stepping outside for a few minutes. I'll be back, don't worry." He excused himself and disappeared around the corner.

"Just us girls." Lisa gave me a little smile. "Oh! I've been wanting to show you this. She opened her purse and set an ultrasound picture on the table."

"Oh my gosh!" I cried in excitement. "The gender?" I looked up expectantly.

"It's a girl." Lisa said proudly. "And she's perfectly healthy."

"Congratulations!" I took her hand and squeezed it. "Have you started showing?" I tried to look across the table.

"Yeah." She picked at the loose fabric of her dress. "I can still find some little tricks to hide it, but not on the average day."

"I'm assuming that Marx doesn't know." I guessed.

"No. My boyfriend asked me not to mention it while I was down here. To anyone new, I mean." She smiled at me. "He still really wants to meet you. We're so grateful."

"Dessert?" the same waitress appeared. Lisa quickly hid the ultrasound photo.

"Should we order for the guys?" I looked around.

"They're boys. They won't care." Lisa ordered for them. By the time the cheesecakes were served to us, the guys still weren't back. I was starting to get worried.

"You don't think we should go check?" I looked behind me to the bathroom hallway.

"Do we have a reason to?" Lisa looked at me. "It's not like they were kidnapped. They can fight." She started laughing until she saw the look on my face. "What did I say?" she asked as I stood up quickly and kicked my chair back.

"He's fighting." I breathed and ran for the bathroom hallway. No sounds. I burst into the guys bathroom. I got a few weird looks, some protests, but no James or Marx. "Outside!" I cried to Lisa who had just caught up to me. We dashed out onto the sidewalk. I listened. Nothing. "Damn it, James." I growled.

"Marx isn't answering his phone." Lisa announced slowly.

"Which way would he go?" I thought to myself. "He'd find an alley or somewhere private where he could talk to him before he punched the insides out of him." I looked down and up the street. His car was still there. Good. And then my phone rang.

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Kendall's POV:

When my phone started ringing in the middle of our second Christmas movie of the night, I wasn't happy. I saw it was Katie and paused the movie.

"What's up, baby sister?"

"James is in jail." She gasped.

"What?" my mouth fell open and I motioned for Lucy to take Nick out of the room.

"He…I don't know much yet but he was fighting and I was told to come down to the station to bail him out. I don't know how to do that." She sounded frantic.

"Ok," I tried to make my brain function, "Carlos, Logan, and I are gonna meet you down there."

"Ok."

"And Katie?" I stopped her from hanging up. "You're ok, right?"

"I was eating cheesecake." She deadpanned. "He didn't even let me join." I chuckled to myself, the fact that she was insulted she had been left out tickling me to no end.

"I'll see you there."

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James' POV:

"James!" Katie cried as I was escorted out of the back ward by two officers. She ran to me and grabbed my shoulders. "You idiot!" she screeched. Kendall grabbed her and pulled her away.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked Kendall and Logan and Carlos.

"You don't think Katie was prepared with the money to bail you out, did you?" Kendall frowned. "What was all this? What were you thinking?"

"You're hurt!" Katie noticed the bruising and bloody sores on my face. "You need to go to a hospital!"

"No I don't." I brushed past them and headed for the front doors.

"Hey!" Katie ran after me. "We need to talk about this!"

"James, you need to put something on your face." Logan called from the steps as I unlocked my car.

"James, what happened?" Kendall called.

"Where's the guy you fought?" Carlos asked. I ignored them all and slid into the car. I started the engine and closed the door. But before I could roll up the window, Katie put her hands on the window crease. I met her eyes. I couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"Where are you going?" she wondered, sounding just like how she used to when she was little and I got mad. Scared.

"I need to take some time to decide where I'm going. That's the problem." He muttered to himself. "Don't wait up for me."

"Don't tell me what to do." She snapped.

"Katie, I need time to think." I growled.

"Well if this is how you're going to process things all the time, then I have nothing else to say to you, James."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

James' POV:

She was waiting for me on the front steps when I came home. She was wrapped in a blanket and two empty mugs sat next to her. Her eyes were heavy with exhaustion.

"It's four in the morning." I knelt down to her. "You should be in bed."

"Don't play with me." She hissed and grabbed my shirt. She pulled us face to face. "I've been waiting all night here for you so you better do what I say. Because I get angry when I lose my sleep."

"Uhh…" I stuttered.

"You're going to come with me and let me fix your face, which could be ten times worse now that you ran off and had your fun." I rolled my eyes and she stomped on my foot. I cursed. "Then, you're going to tell me exactly what happened and why you ran off like a jerk!"

"Sh, don't wake them up." I nodded to the dark house. She let go of my shirt and pushed me away. Then she heaved herself up. I offered to help her but she didn't acknowledge my outstretched hand.

"Come with me." She grabbed my arm and dragged me inside. And she carried out her plan exactly like she had laid it out. For the next hour I sat on the edge of the bathtub and let her clean out the cuts around my eye and lips and treat the bruises on my cheekbone. She worked efficiently and quietly, not even looking directly at me except for when I had to take my shirt off for her to get a bruise on my neck. When I was fixed up to her standard, she led me to the second guest bedroom, the one that I was using while I was here, and closed the door softly behind us.

"Katie, I'm sorry." I tried to gently approach her. She crossed her arms and turned away slightly. I stopped moving.

"What happened?" she asked coldly. I sighed and sat down on the bed, too tired to explain it standing up.

"When I realized that he had let you drink alcohol after you told him you were pregnant, and that you weren't going to do anything about it, I kind of just lost it. The thought that because of him our kid could be messed up….and that nobody was going to do anything about it…it killed me." I watched her arms fall to her sides and she sank down next to me on the bed.

"Lisa says he'll need stitches in four places. And he has a broken nose." She picked lightly at the pattern on the bedspread.

"He deserved a lot more." I mumbled. I sat up and took a breath. "Katie, I thought a lot tonight."

"You better have. If you ran away for nothing, I'd be pissed." She bit her lip. "So have you decided something or what?"

"What I did tonight, how protective I felt, how crazy I acted, that was for you. It was for Nick too, but mostly for you. Now, I plan to be like that for Nick for the rest of my life. He's my kid. But you, right now, there are no binding attachments between us. At least, of our choosing. And I decided that I don't want to keep acting crazy on your account if we're not together and if there's no way we ever can be." I watched her listen to what I was saying. "You just…you make me so crazy." I balled my hands into fists and then spread them flat on my legs. Then balled them again. "It's like I feel this need to look out for you, even though you've made it perfectly clear that you don't want my help and that you do things your own way."

"I don't like my way." She breathed. I looked over at her and saw that her hands were shaking. "You're right. You shouldn't have to keep living your life like you owe me something just because we have a kid. You need to do your own thing." And then she started crying. Not sobbing, just crying. A few tears fell onto her pants and little whimpers of desperation escaped her lips before she got control of herself. I wanted to help her, but I didn't know if she would let me.

"I think you need sleep." I decided. She shook her head, still looking down at her pants. "Yes Katie, come on." I tried to help her off the bed but she pulled away. "Katie." I motioned for her to get up.

"How does it feel?" she asked, stopping me. I looked down at her. "To be a free man? You've let me get to you all these years and now you're finally getting away."

"It's not like that." I sat down next to her again. "I'm just trying to save my heart."

"Well what about mine?" she argued. "Who will save my heart?"

"Katie, now you can go find someone that you don't have to worry about a messy history with. Something that you've always said was why we couldn't date again. If we let each other go, we can find someone that-"

"I don't want someone else, I want you!" she jumped up and faced me. I felt my heart speed up. What was she saying?

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I love you, James." She gave in and her body sagged, like she'd been carrying a weight for years. Maybe she had. I was walking on air, hearing those words.

"Well that changes everything." I slowly stood and went over to her.

"Yes it does." She nodded. I stopped and held her arms, rubbing some warmth into them. "So does this mean you still love me?" she tried not to sound too hopeful, but the child-like way she waited was enough to tell me that she still wanted me.

"Katie, I was never going to stop. I was just going to try to focus on other things. But that isn't what I wanted. You knew that. And if you hadn't said something, we could've just lost each other forever." I couldn't believe how long it had taken for her to just tell me she loved me.

"It took me five years to kiss you. You think this was easy?" she retorted. I smiled a little at that.

"Now we need a new plan." I sighed and pulled her against me. I rested my chin on her head and felt her relax against my chest.

"Sorry for ruining your old one." She leaned back and looked at me, a sheepish grin on her face. And then I realized that hey, she said she loved me. I bet she wouldn't mind if I kissed her.

"I think I'll like this one better anyway." I leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss. She kissed back with a deeper passion, a longing that had been bottled up for too long. I had been right. She didn't seem to mind that I was kissing her. At all. And then I was backing toward the bed and collapsing onto it and she was toppling onto me and working at getting my shirt off.

"I've missed you more than you could imagine." She gasped as I kissed her jaw.

"Um, sweetheart, I can imagine." I retorted and helped her pull her shirt over her head. Then she rolled over my chest the wrong way and I inhaled sharply. Stupid bruises. She stopped and sat up, straddling me.

"You're hurt!" she cried in a whisper, still conscious of the sleeping household. "I forgot!"

"I'm fine, I'm fine." I tried to convince her.

"Do you have a condom?" she looked around the room.

"No." I looked at her. "You?" she shook her head. "We can do other things?" I suggested. She laughed at me a little and slid off me. Then she ran her hands down my chest and helped me sit up.

"Our kid is sleeping not four rooms from us. I'm not chancing this whole thing happening again." She brushed some hair out of my eyes and lightly touched my cuts. I closed my eyes and let her soft hands soothe my scattered mind. "But I'm not letting you out of my sight." She added. "Think you can handle sharing a bed and nothing more?" she proposed as she stripped the rest of the way and slid under the covers. I tried not to moan at how good her body looked. I had forgotten.

"If I must." I teased and slid my pants off. I switched off the light and pulled her close to me. "When did you decide that you still loved me?" The first rays of morning light were beginning to stream through the window and warm us under the blankets.

"I always knew I did. I just didn't know how to be responsible about it." She mumbled sleepily. "It just didn't seem…practical…to continue dating someone after four years apart and a child."

"Since when did you become practical?" I teased. I felt her chuckle.

"Would you really have left me?" she turned to face me. I paused and thought.

"Yes, if I thought it would be better for you." I closed my eyes and sighed in pleasure as her fingertips danced across my chest and abs.

"I started something when I kissed you for the first time." She met my eyes, hers crackling with passion. "And I may have forgotten what it was that I started, but I don't think I've ever intended not to finish it."

"I knew I fell in love with you for a reason."

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Katie's POV:

"I swear, James, if you got her pregnant again you're dead." I cracked my eyes open to see Kendall standing in the doorway staring at us in a mix of shock and was it…relief?

"Relax, Kendork, we didn't do anything." I slid out of James' arms and sat up. "At least anything…internal." I rubbed my eyes and watched him grimace. He hated hearing the details.

"Morning." James grunted and sat up. Then he noticed Kendall in the doorway. "Oh, hey Kendall."

"What is this?" Kendall cried. "What's going on?"

"Your little sister told me she loved me early this morning." James smiled at me and I blushed. Kendall's eyes darted between me and James.

"Is that true?" he asked me. I nodded and pressed my lips together in a smile. "Well finally you owned up to it." He shook his head and leaned against the door jam. "Lucy will be happy."

"I was just trying to be responsible." I defended myself.

"No offense, Katie Bear, but you suck at be responsible." James kissed my cheek lightly. Kendall nodded in agreement. I shoved James playfully.

"It's eleven. Breakfast is in the kitchen. Lucy and Nick are at a playdate. Logan and Carlos are-"

"Wow, this looks familiar." Logan appeared behind Kendall.

"Except James was usually on the left side of the bed." Carlos poked his head around Kendall's shoulder.

"Right so Katie could always make a quick escape before you got home." Logan pointed to Kendall. I facepalmed.

"Nice bra, Katie. Is that new?" Carlos smiled innocently at me.

"Yeah it is." I looked down then back at my friend. "Thanks."

"How long were you guys having sex without me knowing?" Kendall looked at James. James gulped.

"Really, what does it matter? That was five years ago." I smiled sweetly at my brother.

"Yeah, man, I think we can let that all go." James laughed uncomfortably.

"I want to know exactly what-"

"I'm getting up!" I announced. "In my underwear!" I added.

"Bug out!" Kendall cried and the guys scattered. I snickered and turned to James.

"I just saved your face from an even worse fate than cuts and bruises." I raised my eyebrows in pride.

"I think I would have been maimed if Kendall had known just exactly what I would do to you." He pulled me to him and bit my neck and sucked slowly. I moaned into his ear. His muscles tightened.

"Remember how scared you were that he would catch us?" I whispered.

"Well you would be screaming bloody murder, that's hard to hide." He circled his thumbs on my ribs. I had missed the little things he knew I liked.

"Your fault." I teased.

"You loved it rough." He murmured against my shoulder.

"I still do." I ran my hands through his hair. He pulled back and looked at me. His eyes were simmering.

"Come get breakfast!" Kendall yelled. "You better be getting dressed!" I rolled my eyes. I was an adult now, college graduate, and Kendall was still running my life. I threw the covers back and got up. As I scurried to the door to make a dash for my room, James stopped me.

"I plan to make good on those years you deprived me of your body." He husked, leaning back on his arms, abs flexing. I felt my mouth dry up.

"Promise?"


End file.
